2007年11月21日 星期三
my birthday
My twenty-first birthday was on last Friday. My mother ordered a cake as usual because for me it didn’t seem like a birthday without a cake. We went to have dinner at a fancy restaurant with my family and relatives at night. I took a lot of pictures with them. And I also received many gifts from my family and friends. I like gifts very much, but it’s not because I can own those valuable presents; it’s because I like surprises. And I always like to guess what it is inside the box. It makes my birthday exciting and funny. Anyway, we all had a good time on that day.
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"it didn’t seem like a birthday without a cake" makes it sound as if your mother ordered the cake after the birthday party had started instead of beforehand. That's what happens when you use the wrong tense. This should be "it doesn’t seem like a birthday without a cake".
"but it’s not because I can own those valuable presents" is not natural English. It should be "but it’s not because I get (a lot of) valuable presents".
"funny" is the wrong word: it has to be "fun". Something funny is something you laugh at, e.g., a joke, but something fun is something you enjoy, e,.g., guessing what's inside your birthday present boxes.
Otherwise, very good.
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